Guest Post: Talia Sykes

The PMDD leap of faith

Picture this – I’m sitting in my appraisal at work, feeling on top of my game. I’ve been in the recruitment industry for a decade now and the last five years as a manager. Just recently, I had the opportunity to join a leading tool hire organisation in the UK, where I’m charged with steering their future recruitment strategy. 

I’m doing great; reflecting on the achievements of my first 6 months in my new role. But then, a question I wasn’t expecting, my manager asks: ‘How have you personally been feeling lately?’. I immediately feel tense and defensive. I desperately hold back the hot sting of tears, but it’s a losing battle. Yep, my bottom lips quivering in the middle of my performance review. Oh god, this isn’t good. It’s a few days before my period. But I have a decision to make. Do I really deep dive into my PMDD story with my boss?!  

Okay, she’s the first woman I’ve reported into in my entire career, she’ll understand right? Wait – only 5-6% of women suffer with PMDD, and it was only deemed an actual disorder in like 2013 or something? Does anyone even understand PMDD or believe it to be a real thing? Am I overthinking this or is my boss going to think I’m making it up as an excuse for looking a complete and utter misery during certain meetings or something. I’m spiralling now, all whilst crying. Actually crying. I need to get some control. Look up Talia, stop staring out the window. Take a deep breath. You can do this, just say it. Pluck up the courage and say it. Come on Talia, just say it, oh hell. ‘I THINK I HAVE PMDD, OKAY?!’ 

From silence to support

Back then, I had not received my official diagnosis for PMDD yet, but I had noticed that something was amiss. It was a monthly rollercoaster ride, and I had a feeling that my cyclical sadness and work engagement had synchronicity with my menstrual cycle. Yep, my boss was very graciously and respectfully pointing out that she noticed my mood swings on a pretty predictable schedule.  

So, there I was, spilling the beans on PMDD. I mean I’d always been a pretty open book, but this? This was like revealing a hidden identity – to my manager no less. This was new territory – PMDD was a bit of a mystery; an unknown and rarely talked about. But telling my manager exactly what I had been going through turned out to be one of the best decisions I had ever made.  

Within the hour, she became my newfound life coach, advocating for me to make the most of our private GP benefits and get some answers. Before I knew it, (and I am very aware how lucky I am with my medical care) I got my diagnosis, and the pieces to the PMDD puzzle were falling into place. By this point I’d done extensive research into the hormone sensitivity disorder – I knew its symptoms and treatments and I had even joined a workshop with ‘See Her Thrive’, the experts of women’s health in the workplace, to really understand how others coped with it in the rat race of the corporate world. It was the beginning of understanding a totally new version of myself.  

I realised that PMDD had been a lurking shadow in my career for a couple of years. I’d always taken my work very seriously, but recently, the work had become my personal challenge to conquer. At times, it pushed me to the brinks of emotional breakdowns. I started to wear my heart on my sleeve in the office too often – but on the flip, during my PMDD week, I’d drift away from my team and colleagues. Thankfully, they are a fantastic bunch, but I’d find myself being a little too distant, a bit too blunt in my emails and a little less ‘let’s play nice’ and a bit more ‘let’s get the job done’.  

Like clockwork, as I reached my period, the clouds of PMDD would disperse and I would be back to my sunny self – “The Manager” who could light up a room, taking my team on a journey, and basking in the glory of past praises for being a good people person. I began to realise this disorder was exhausting and trying to maintain a consistent performance level every day of the month wasn’t always going to be so easy for me. So, I had to rethink my approach and figure out how to make PMDD me and professional me work together.  

So, first agenda item when it comes to getting a handle on my cycle within work was knowing roughly when PMDD was about to kick in. I made it a habit to give my manager a friendly heads-up every month. She’s been incredible at rolling with the PMDD punches, understanding that next week ‘Talia’ might look starkly different to the last.  

Once I had my cycle tracking down, I could start getting strategic about what was on my plate at work. For instance, if I had a big presentation for senior leadership, I’d schedule it during my ‘I’m on top of the world’ ovulation phase. Or if I need to go headhunt for a critical role in the business, and approach tip-top market talent, let’s do that when I am at my peak both living and breathing the dream. And when PMDD week rolled around, my work was flexible, giving me the ability to work where I felt best, taking those additional rest breaks, and giving me the space to dive into project or admin tasks that required quiet thinking time. And sure, not always were my work demands going to sync with my PMDD schedule but armed with the knowledge, the power was finally in my hands to work for me. 

More recently, I took the leap to share my PMDD diagnosis with my team and colleagues It was liberating to be able to say, ‘Hey, you might notice me looking a little fatigued or disinterested from time to time, but here’s why.’ It isn’t just about offering explanations or what sometimes can feel like excuses, it’s about that special connection that comes with true vulnerability. It’s letting down my guard, revealing my not so perfect professional self. I am pulling back the mask, showing my colleagues the PMDD warts and all. I instil in them we’re all human here doing our best in the world of work.  

What made all this possible was my manager having the empathy and genuine care for me as an employee to support the journey of discovery and diagnosis. Following this, it has been the ongoing support of my employer that has made it possible for me to survive PMDD in the workplace. With management, team and colleagues understanding we have started to build a workplace culture where everyone can bring their authentic selves to the desk every day.  

I urge every employer to take seriously women’s hormonal health in the workplace. Let’s not shy away from these conversations, let’s educate ourselves and our teams about gender equity and encourage open dialogues with our colleagues. Offering accommodations, recognising the need for fewer demanding tasks during these times, reducing endless meetings, and making mental health support a standard practice are just the basic steps we can take to champion PMDD sufferers in the workplace. 

I am empowered by knowledge and deeply grateful for the opportunities that I have been fortunate enough to receive. My passion lies in taking that learning and advocating for all women in the workplace, building a more inclusive future where every woman has the chance to not only thrive, but succeed.   

Want to know how to support your colleagues with PMDD? Download our Employer’s Guide to PMDD.

If you’re looking for further information on diagnosis, treatment options or peer support, IAPMD can help.