How to tell your manager about a reproductive health condition

At See Her Thrive, we are a team of people who live and work with menstrual health conditions ourselves, we know how daunting it can be to talk about what you’re going through at work! 

Unfortunately, in many workplaces, menstrual health, menopause and fertility related issues are still considered as taboo topics, which can make disclosing tricky. At the same time, we might also worry that our professional image may be at risk – we’ll be seen as incapable, weak, or not fit for leadership. 

These fears can stop us from seeking the support we need to manage our health at work, and lead us to conceal just how much pain (physical and emotional) we’re in. Over time, masking symptoms can add a whole new layer of stress and anxiety, which may make the condition worse and can also have a long-term impact on our health and wellbeing – not to mention our work performance, engagement and relationships. 

While it might feel uncomfortable, being open (if you want to) generally paves the way for more support and gives people the opportunity to be there for you. 

So, below we have shared some tips and information to help you navigate a conversation with your colleagues, manager or HR and get the support you need at work: 

Know your rights

First and foremost, you may be encouraged to know that under the 2010 Equality Act, all employers in the UK are required to make reasonable adjustments for employees with physical and mental health conditions. And the Government’s ‘Access to Work’ scheme is there to help individuals with a physical or mental health condition to stay in work. 

Come armed with solutions

At the end of day, only you know what works best for you. You may find taking regular breaks keeps your energy levels up and therefore your productivity. Or perhaps avoiding booking in meetings on days when you know you won’t be feeling your best could help you to manage your symptoms whilst not affecting performance at work. If you can identify possible solutions, your manager will probably be more open to making accommodations. 

Pick the moment when you will be feeling strongest

As you will need to advocate for yourself, pick your moment when you are feeling strongest. Perhaps look at the best days in your menstrual cycle. Or if you tend to struggle with fatigue in the afternoon, book in the meeting for first thing in the morning – this could help to get it ‘out of the way’ too so you aren’t agonising all day.And make sure you give yourself breathing space before the meeting so you have time to think about what you’d like to say.  

Have the conversation in-person if you can

As tempting as it can be to send an email or message on Teams, it is much better to have the conversation in-person if you can. Or if you work remotely, do it over Teams/Zoom. This is so you can explain how your condition affects your work, and your manager can ask questions and provide support. 

Seek peer support

If you are feeling especially nervous, perhaps confide in your work bestie or a colleague you can trust. You may be surprised how many other people open up about struggling too, and this can give you the confidence to have the conversation with your boss. Or if there is nobody at work you feel comfortable talking to, have a look at online support groups to get advice from people who have been in the same situation. 

And finally, some words of encouragement…

“I found out a change of line management meant switching from a female to a male manager. I thought it was bad enough having all these stressful symptoms without then having to tell them to a man! But I could not have been more wrong –  I received the empathy and support any employee could wish for, and was supported perfectly through some of the worst times of my life.” – Kristi

“In ‘Hell Week’ I can work from home more. It’s being able to plan ahead which is really important so I can manage my health and work.” – Annika

“My management has been supportive. I can say ‘It’s a tough day, bear with me’, and my manager gives me the space they know is helpful to me.” – Jenny

How See Her Thrive can help

Don’t forget we are here to help if you need any further support or guidance. And make sure you check out our employer guides which cover PMDD, endometriosis, adenomyosis and menopause.