Why we need to challenge the midlife menopause stereotype

Clare-Louise Knox, founder of See Her Thrive, shares her experiences of the menopause to to raise awareness and challenge common misconceptions. 

I found out that I was perimenopausal at the age of 34. While it took time to come to terms with the diagnosis, I feel such a sense of relief that after living with apparently inexplicable symptoms for two years, I finally got to the bottom of what’s been going on! 

Two years searching for an answer

During that time I had multiple blood tests, hormone tests, an abdominal scan and a transvaginal ultrasound. I saw my GP numerous times and was also referred to an endocrinologist. My GP recommended that I increase my SSRI dosage for PMDD (which I didn’t do) to treat my symptoms, and at one point I almost had a diagnosis of PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). 

Two years after battling with a myriad of symptoms including fatigue, low mood, dry sore eyes, irregular periods, oral thrush, palpitations and night sweats, a gynaecologist finally confirmed that low oestrogen is the culprit! It’s probably worth saying that this could have been detected two years earlier by the aforementioned endocrinologist, when my blood tests showed high testosterone. But, as is often the case, it was overlooked and nothing was done about it because “it was nothing to worry about”. At the time, I had no idea about the relationship between low oestrogen and high testosterone, otherwise I would have seen this as a red flag!

Now, the bizarre thing

I know about perimenopause and have known about it for quite a few years now. And yet, even though all the symptoms were pointing to it, I still didn’t put two and two together. I’m actually finding this the most difficult thing to deal with – I can’t understand why I didn’t make the connection! Looking back, it was screamingly obvious. Was I in some kind of denial? Did I not think it could happen to me? Was I distracted by the wrong diagnosis of PCOS? Had I convinced myself that it was all in my head and that actually there was nothing physically wrong with me? Had I convinced myself that it was just my PMDD getting worse and that there probably was no other explanation?

I don’t want anyone else to have to go through this

It’s going to take a while for me to let go of the anger, frustration and blame I feel, mostly towards myself, for this. And while I work on that, the reason I’m sharing this with you is because I don’t want anyone else to have to go through what I’ve been through. I don’t want any other woman to suffer needlessly because of incompetent healthcare or a lack of awareness of perimenopause.

My plea to everyone reading this

• Regardless of whether you’re 23 or 43, familiarise yourself with the signs and symptoms of perimenopause because it can happen at any time!
• Share this information with the women (and men!) in your life! Talk about it openly and let’s get everyone educated on perimenopause!
• Challenge the midlife menopause stereotype – 1 in 100 women go through menopause before the age of 40. It isn’t something that happens only to women in their 50’s or 60’s! Our choice of language, images and wider marketing around menopause all need to reflect that, and we also have a personal responsibility to address any menopause misconceptions as and when they arise.
• Track your symptoms, whatever they may be. A paper diary is fine or check out Dr Louise Newson’s app Balance.
• Speak to your GP as soon as possible. Or find a British Menopause Society approved menopause specialist here.
• Don’t rely on blood tests alone – they are not recommended for detecting perimenopause because of fluctuating hormone levels. Instead, your GP should use your symptoms to diagnose perimenopause.
• Listen to your body – you know when something is out of whack. Trust that and don’t give up until you’ve got to the bottom of it!
• Read, learn and reach out for support if you need it. There are some amazing organisations out there who are waiting with open arms to help you – please don’t suffer in silence. And remember, you are not alone in this. In fact, there are 13 million other women going through the menopause in the UK! 

Want to become a menopause friendly employer – See Her Thrive can help!

Partner with us and make a positive change for menopause in your workplace. With our unrivaled expertise, we equip companies with the knowledge, insights, and practical tools they need to navigate this crucial stage with confidence. 

Get on our waitlist for this year’s Menopause Awareness Month or get in touch to find out how we could help you to make a difference. 

Links to further support and guidance 

• Free employer’s guide to menopause
• The British Menopause Society
• Women’s Health Concern
• My Menopause Doctor